moving at high speeds.

I pick up my lease and keys today. Nice. Unfortunately, I'm scheduled to work everyday this weekend, including today so I'm going to have to move during the evenings. At least it won't be ass sweatingly hot during the moves. I'm so excited! Nothing's better than moving into a new space.

The interview on Wednesday went okay. I was actually a bit nervous. And I was all sweaty and flustered from the 105º temperature outside that day. But I gave it my best effort, and we'll just see where that goes. I even followed-up with a thank you letter...how professional of me.

Next week, I'm picking up all these extra hours at S&H because everyone is going on vacation. I don't mind because I can use the money. I believe the cattiness involving me has blown over. Awesome. I don't like that petty mess.

Man, I really want coffee and a squagel from Cosi but it's past eleven o'clock and they stop serving breakfast then. Bummer.

easy on the drama.

I need to get out of working in retail. The bullshit catty internal drama that I was trying to avoid has caught up to me. Rumor has it that I'm the next one that "needs to go." Dude, all I can say to that is — bullshit. So I'm hoping that my interview on Wednesday goes well. It used to be, "I need a second job"...now it's more like, "I need a new job."

So this is my last week at the Trinity. I'm moving to Fairmount! By the way, I now hate Society Hill because some douchebag stole one of my bikes, and yesterday after a shitty day in retail sales, I found that someone stole two of my plants...one of them being my best calla lily. Fuck you, asshole. All I know is that you'd better fucking take care of that plant.

morning of woe.

I keep waking up from my sleep with multiple mosquito bites on my body. This morning it was so bad that I woke up 2 hours before my alarm clock was scheduled to go off. Sometimes when I wake up too early, I get this terrible morning sickness feeling in my stomach. Even if I eat something, I still feel sick. I can't imagine what pregnant morning sickness feels like...well, I can imagine, I'm just saying I wouldn't want to feel that shitty every morning. And while we're on the subject – why do women get morning sickness when they're pregnant?...I never understood that concept.

Yeah, so mosquito bites. They were huge this morning. They were like whelts. I counted 14. It's terrible.

Sometime in the next ten days, I'll be moving in my new apartment. !!!. I'm soooo stoked. I honestly haven't started packing shit. I packed some clothes away, and that's about it. I hope to throw a buch of shit out. This busted ass couch...yeah, I'm leaving that on the curb. It was free. And it is busted.

I'm just killing time. I have to leave for work in about 30 minutes. It's going to be a long day...I can already tell. Honestly, I don't feel like helping customers today. I hope it's a slow day at the mall.

I also applied to for an Architectural Library Assistant job on Tuesday. Yesterday I got an email from the Librarian saying thanks for sending my resume to be considered, she's pre-screening applicants before she hands out interviews, and to call her at my earliest convenience. So I call yesterday and go figure, she's not in the office that day. The receptionist forwarded me to her voicemail and so I did that. At least she'll know that I tried to call at my earliest convenience.

O, I still feel sick. Sucks.

give it a day.

It's hot and muggy. I was talking to Rusty and he said, "Oh that's right, you haven't been home to Louisiana in two summers...girl, I think you forgot how hot and humid it is down here in the South."

He's right – I have forgotten. Sigh. I want to go home for a visit. I'm considering moving back in a couple of years. I told my mom that I'm thinking about it, but I'm not certain. We'll see. If I do move back, it's basically saying that I'm a failure. And that's what I'm afraid of.

So Friday night Katherine, Allen and myself went to dinner and a movie. I'm in love with Abner's BBQ. I swear that I haven't had BBQ that authentic on this side of the Mason Dixon Line in like...ever. Everything was delicious. It reminded me of being down South, and it made me feel like there was hope for the future.

We saw Wedding Crashers. Funny stuff. It's nice to laugh out loud at something that's genuinely funny.

I just ordered some Earth shoes with Negative Heel Technology. They're so cute. I can't wait to get them.

it should be confessed.

I want to draw but I don't know what to draw. I have my pencils and a sketchbook on my lap at this very moment.

Alison and I went to Eastern State Penitentiary today. I forgot my camera's battery on the charger and I wanted so badly to teleport.

I've been having trouble sleeping. I don't know if it's the balmy weather, or what.

Pavement is still the greatest band of the nineties. Sonic Youth doesn't really count because they came about during the last stretch of the eighties.

I haven't gone grocery shopping in about two weeks. This forces me to use ingredients in my freezer and cupboard.

Every now and then, I feel guilty of depriving my cat of the outdoors. I'm surprised that this former street kitty likes me.

I've been missing my parents a lot lately. I miss Liz, Billie and the family pets, too.

I broke my glasses while I was trying to fix them. I hate my backup pair that I got for free so I've been wearing my contacts almost everyday.

I haven't smoked a cigarette in over a month now. I told my mom that I quit and I tell everyone else that too, but every so often I get the urge to quit quitting.

Sometimes I fear that someone I know, or knew with will see me working in retail. I'm afraid of being thought of as a failure in the eyes of others.

Sometimes I wish that someone I know, or knew will see me working in retail. I'm dying to explain to them my personal theory on happiness.

I still believe in the Renaissance. My mom said to me on the phone last night to try anything and that makes me feel good.

The light bulb in my kitchen blew out yesterday. I don't think I'm going to change the bulb because I'm moving soon.

I've been riding buses in the city every now and then to reach certain destinations. It gives me the feeling of participating and belonging but also, it makes me feel out of place.

I hate that I don't really have much say these days. I hate that when I do say something, it never comes out right.

These days, I don't really know what's important anymore. Somehow, self-interest always seems to prevail over national-interest.

I can't stand to watch the news anymore. I only watch it for the local weather but I usually can't bare to sit through all the build up in order to get to the weather, so I always end up changing immediately to the weather channel.

All my life I've had a routine with school and its related work. After a year of not being in school and not having a steady job, I feel insanely empty with not knowing what to expect from day to day.

I like to use a lot of punctuation throughout sentences. I really don't remember all the grammatical rules because I didn't really pay attention in 9th grade grammar; I still do it anyway.

I don't really like looking people in the eyes. Wearing glasses is almost like a security blanket.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like had I been born a male. I envision that I would've been one of those awkward boys who fumbles with girls' under-garments and wishes he were suave.

Boys and girls that dress "emo" are starting to intimidate me and I'm not sure why. I think it's because their outward appearance gives off an air of being vain and shrewd: two characteristics that turn me off like nothing else.

I smile and I laugh a lot even though most of the time I have nothing to smile and laugh about. This somehow gives people the impression that I'm pleasant.

Gyro sandwiches are delicious. I can't even count how many I've had in the past two weeks.

I like to say that everything will turn out alright in the end. The end is inevitable and I have no idea what to do about it.

bring it all down.

I went and had dinner at Felicia's place last night. Afterwards, we went for a walk to check out my new apartment. I wanted to see if that guy moved out yet. I went around back, and to my surprise, someone had cleaned up all the weeds in the backyard. I saw lights on in the windows, so I assume that there is someone still in there. Oddly, I was happy and sad about the weeds at the same time. I kinda wanted to clean it up myself because it'd be something to do, but it's nice that they cleaned it up for me. I told the realtors that I had a lot of plants, so maybe they told the maintenance crew to clean up for me, which was nice of them.

You know, good things do come to those that wait...my free cable is back on. My neighbor is paying for it, and she has no idea that her cable wire that runs through my end of the basement is hooked up to a splitter. Score. Now I have television for the last few weeks that I'm here and I won't be entirely bored.

she likes pretty explosions.

So, my weekend was nice. All plans were just made up along the way. I felt as if I accomplished something altough I really did nothing...okay I'm lying, I did a lot despite the fact that I had to work on Saturday and Sunday. Friday I caught the Strawberry Mansion bridge fireworks display from Ridge Ave. I didn't go to Live 8 on Saturday because I had to work, but it's not like I wanted to go in the first place. I took Septa to work so I wouldn't lose my parking spot during the busy weekend. On the bus ride home that day, it was nuts to see so many clam-baked pedestrians on the streets. I couldn't imagine living in a place like Tokyo...that many pedestrians is intimidating. When I finally got home, I found this Cheap Trick promotional album at Philadelphia Record Exchange. Man, I love their early shit from the mid to late seventies. Too stoked about that. After that, and getting dinner at the Midtown Diner, the fireworks at the Pier were starting...we raced down Walnut on bikes, watching the show as it happened and we got to the river in time to look up at the sky with awe. Sunday, nothing much went on. Just worked and came home and helped out with some freelance inspiration. Monday night after a busy day of fun goodness, Felicia and I went to check out the last of the parade, and we stuck around for the Freedom Concert and the fireworks. "Is that Wayne Brady hosting this shit?" You know what was thinking: "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" I didn't know Rufus Wainright would be there to perform, so that was a nice surprise.

Count that. That's three, yes three grand fireworks displays. Pretty explosions never get old.

Today, Alison and I were going to go to Eastern State Penitentiary because she has free admissions tickets. We decided we'd walk. Yeah, that was a long walk. When we got to the gate and she handed me a ticket from her bag, I said, "Wait, this says free on Wednesdays thru Saturdays." D'oh! After all of that walking in the heat, she said she'd pay for us to go in. It was closed. D'oh! We hopped on the 48 bus to 2nd St. and went to the South St. Diner and after that, we went to the Ritz East to watch Howl's Moving Castle. It was the subtitled version...and afterwards about six people out of the handful of people in the theatre complained "that on the website it said the dubbed version would be playing." What a bunch of jackasses. The manager was going to give them a free movie pass. And Alison and I stated the ridiculousness of it, and left feeling statisfied that it wasn't the dubbed version of the film. Today was a good day. I thank Alison for coming into to the city today to hang out. I had fun.

I actually have from Monday thru Friday off from work. But, I told my manager I'd gladly fill in tomorrow. It's not like I have anything else to do.