strange new addiction.

If you look at me, you can probably tell that I've been suffering from body image issues my entire life. The strange part is that I've always been obsessed with health books and magazines, and I read cookbooks like they're bestsellers. So, it's not like I don't know how to feed myself the most nutritional meals. I guess my real problem is that I never cared to do the exercising part. That is, until now.

It's a good feeling to exercise, but I think it's gotten to the point where it's a sick obsession. If I miss a workout, I find myself feeling slightly guilty and I notice that I'll start making plans for my workout that is scheduled for the next day. Maybe it's not a bad thing? I really don't know.

I do know that I didn't workout today, and right now at this very moment, I'm trying not to think about how to make it up tomorrow.

All I really want is to be healthy...and to be able to wear cute/nice clothes again. I miss looking like a girly girl, not that I was ever a girly girl, but you know what I mean.

big house red.

I probably shouldn't ever be allowed to drink a bottle of wine all on my own. It's a good feeling though. It's not very often I get to sit on my couch alone, drink wine and watch teen dramas.

Some very big things will be happening in the print shop in the next few weeks. It's almost unbelievable. It's exciting. And it's definitely something that's been a long time coming. I cannot wait!

nearly three years later.

For starters, a broad overview of my past few years looks something like this:

1.) I finally got the balls to quit my job (which, don't get me wrong, was awesome and I've learned so much from possibly the most talented bunch of people I've ever encountered.)
2.) I started working on my own print/design business and it continues to do very well.
3.) My dad died.
4.) I packed up my life, moved back to Louisiana and purchased an old hardware store.
5.) I had a baby.

On a scale of awesomeness, four out of five isn't so bad.

It's interesting living in Louisiana again. I remember I told myself that I'd never move back. But really, statistics show that most people live within 50 miles of where they grew up. I'm part of that statistic now.

There are many things that I miss about living in Philadelphia, but when I think about it, I was actually growing tired of living in the city. Everyone just seemed so beat down and hard. Maybe that was just the people in my neighborhood. But I'd say my neighborhood was a good example of what 90% of Philadelphia really is...hard. I suppose the tragedy that brought me back South saved me from becoming even more beat down.

After nearly 10 years of living in the great Northeast, you can still feel the racial tension that is very much present here in the South. We live in what many people openly refer to as "the black part of town," or my favorite, "nigger town." It makes me uncomfortable when people assume that I'm as racist as they are. I just thought that as a society, we had moved on.

It's actually a double-edged sword because not only is there blatant racism, there is obvious classism. Because we live in the big building in the poor neighborhood, some of our neighbors think we're "millionaires." Little do they know that right now, I literally only have five dollars in my bank account. I don't like the fact that people have attempted to break into our building because they assume we have riches. And I especially don't like the fact that we are armed because of classism. I have nothing against firearms for sport, but the fact that these guns are for protection is unsettling.

Now that I have a little one to worry about, I suppose I'd rather be armed than left defenseless. I think a rifle will be coming into the collection soon...you know, for when sniper shots need to be taken from the rooftop should there be apocalyptic zombies roaming town. From what I learned in movies, shotgun shells and handgun rounds definitely need to be conserved for close range.

an update to an absent year.

It's funny how time manages to just drift away. I think I may have forgotten how to write in that year of absence. But I suppose it's like riding a bicycle - you never really forget how it's done.

So, I'm still here in sunny Philadelphia. I've moved out into the far reaches of Kensington...and not the "nice" part of Kensington either. I mean, it is nice for what it is. The house is rather pleasant with a cute front yard and a huge back yard, and the neighbors are friendly. The reputation of the neighbor is the only thing that is not so nice. When I tell people where I live, they always give me that look, which usually consists of wide eyes, raised eyebrows and tight lips...and then I have to explain that "it's not as bad as people make it out to be." But I will admit that late at night when I'm unlocking my front door, I almost always look over my shoulder...you know, just to make sure I shut the front gate.

It's nice though. I get to rent an entire house for less than my previous one-bedroom apartment. And I'm closer to my workshop. Yes, I have a workshop in an old textile factory. In this workshop, I print things with old letterpress machinery.

You know how I was always looking for that "thing?" Yeah, well, I think I may have found it. I like to print things the old-fashioned way. It's not to say that my entrepreneurial endeavor is the one and only "thing" that makes my life fulfilling - in fact, I think there are more things that have yet to cross my path.

nothing new, really.

Same old, same old.

I've had plenty of adventures since the last time I wrote here, many of which are quite dear to me.

Still trying to figure stuff out? Of course, when am I not?

end of the year, again.

Here is my holiday haiku:

Hello, Mr. Blender
The sky is quite dreary now
Christmas is lovely.

I am spending my holiday here in Philadelphia with myself and my friends. I have next week off from work, and I have no idea what I will do with myself during this week, but I know I'll enjoy myself.

Here's to the end of the year! Hear hear. Cheers.

wishing there was more.

My holiday weekend didn't turn out the way I was hoping it'd turn out. But you know the old saying: don't count your chickens before they hatch. At least I got to eat a little turkey at Katherine's mom's house in Jersey and I got to spend the weekend with my cat and dog...they are my immediate family.
Anyway. Nothing special has been going on. There's work, which is going as well as it can be going right now. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about where I want my career to go. The thing is, it can't really go anywhere until I have money saved up to start up my ideas. Meh. It's nice to think about the future, but at the same time it's a bad thing to do.
I get a week off for Christmas. I don't know what to do with it. I don't really know if I want to visit home in Louisiana. I'd love to see my parents, but I'd rather save the money that I would be spending on a plane ticket for my future plans.
It's cold in my apartment. The heat is regulated by the landlord, and right now, it's not up very high. At least it beats the Trinity where the heat just never worked.