she's the biggest failure to everyone even remotely important to her.

I really am a fool. I really couldn't help myself. That's no excuse. I'm such a jerk...and I hate myself for that. I messed up. It was too good to be true, but of course I didn't believe it, and so I had to continue with my jerkitude. So much for being honest. No amount of sorries can make up for that. I really am sorry though. I wish I could take it all back and re-live it. I can't. All I can do is say sorry...but that gets me nowhere, and I see that now. Fuck. I wanna go home now. I guess I'll have to settle for crying, which sucks. I'm so stupid.