it's not you, it's me.
...I love that phrase, simply because it's sums everything up rather nicely. I use it a lot to cover my tracks; so no one knows where I've been, or what I'm going through.
I don't know what happened, really. One minute I'm fine, happy as humanly possibly, at least for the likes of me, and then suddenly I was hit with this intense bumminess that lasted all throughout the evening and the following day. When I put the symptoms together, I realized what it was. Yeah, it really fuckin got to me, too. I was pitiful: feeling sorry for myself like a whiney bitch...but I justified it with, "dude, I deserve to cry, that shit sucks."
I really, really want to let it go, but something that changed my entire world, is kind of hard to forget. I guess the only way to let it go would be to prove them, and myself wrong about all those half-baked theories...I'm halfway there already.
It's been a year, man, that's nuts. And looking back at that time frame; knowing what I know now after that incident, it all seems so silly...but it was inevitable. Maybe it's some sort of rite of passage for mental evolution. Who knows?
So, for the time being, I'm over it. Honestly, I'll never be truely over it, and I'm sure it'll happen again, but for now, it's going back into the far reaches of my brain's library. Next year probably won't be so bad now that the initial wave has surfaced. I just gotta keep on truckin'...and try not to get lost like that again.
I don't know what happened, really. One minute I'm fine, happy as humanly possibly, at least for the likes of me, and then suddenly I was hit with this intense bumminess that lasted all throughout the evening and the following day. When I put the symptoms together, I realized what it was. Yeah, it really fuckin got to me, too. I was pitiful: feeling sorry for myself like a whiney bitch...but I justified it with, "dude, I deserve to cry, that shit sucks."
I really, really want to let it go, but something that changed my entire world, is kind of hard to forget. I guess the only way to let it go would be to prove them, and myself wrong about all those half-baked theories...I'm halfway there already.
It's been a year, man, that's nuts. And looking back at that time frame; knowing what I know now after that incident, it all seems so silly...but it was inevitable. Maybe it's some sort of rite of passage for mental evolution. Who knows?
So, for the time being, I'm over it. Honestly, I'll never be truely over it, and I'm sure it'll happen again, but for now, it's going back into the far reaches of my brain's library. Next year probably won't be so bad now that the initial wave has surfaced. I just gotta keep on truckin'...and try not to get lost like that again.
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