the aesthetics of her.

I never really understood how people could like me, as a friend, or as a lover. Eventually, all my friends seem to disappear, only those that have known me for years have stuck around, but even so, I hardly ever see them because like myself, they left Louisiana and moved on to different states. I maybe see them once every other year.
And lovers...ha. I don't think a string of one nite stands actually constitutes as having a lover. And really, I only started dating less than two years ago because I made this external transformation by deciding to control my weight, and suddenly dudes are noticing me when I never used to be worth their time...which kind of makes me uncomfortable, flattered and pissed all at the same time.
And so, I think the whole aesthetic of me is that I'm unattached to everything. Some things just don't phase me...which probably has something to do with my inability to feel emotion...kidding. I'm never really angry at people when they leave, because I know that I wasn't the one who left. The door is always open.