where does the good go?
When I can't think of a title, I kinda just steal a lyric from whatever song that just so happens to be playing in the background...
...where does the good go?
look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen... -tegan & sara
...(le sigh).
So, the internal battle is still at large. I've also made a few decisions in the past few weeks that will greatly affect my future. I'm not sure if it'll be for the best, but I had to make an attempt toward progression. It all still hurts.
I don't know what I'm doing. I seriously don't know anymore. I wandered all through life...and now I'm just stumbling.
They say I'm crazy. I say indeed.
---
I had one of those dreams last nite where the colors were beautiful, the lighting was harsh sunlight along with the drastic shadows it produces. Silent dream...only action and facial expressions and sunlight. It was a variation of my hotrod, heist & porno fantasy. I was somewhere in the desert. I could tell that I was in big sky country by the brilliant shade of blue and by the lovely puffs of cloud. Dirt roads intersected lost highways. I could feel the gravel crunch under my feet as I walked. I could smell the engine of the car and the man driving it. I could taste the cigarettes on his lips. I could feel everything. The dream didn't end in the usual manner of us getting away with murder and robbery and having sex on the hood of the car. This time, there was a crash after a shoot out. I pulled myself out of the wreckage, and I pulled him out, he said something, smiled, and then died. I cried as I tried to stand up. I was bleeding from my torso. I walked away from the crash and heading into the desert, but I didn't get far before a black shiny car pulled up. I was gagged, and bound, and thrown in the trunk. I couldn't be saved. I was as good as dead.
look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen... -tegan & sara
...(le sigh).
So, the internal battle is still at large. I've also made a few decisions in the past few weeks that will greatly affect my future. I'm not sure if it'll be for the best, but I had to make an attempt toward progression. It all still hurts.
I don't know what I'm doing. I seriously don't know anymore. I wandered all through life...and now I'm just stumbling.
They say I'm crazy. I say indeed.
---
I had one of those dreams last nite where the colors were beautiful, the lighting was harsh sunlight along with the drastic shadows it produces. Silent dream...only action and facial expressions and sunlight. It was a variation of my hotrod, heist & porno fantasy. I was somewhere in the desert. I could tell that I was in big sky country by the brilliant shade of blue and by the lovely puffs of cloud. Dirt roads intersected lost highways. I could feel the gravel crunch under my feet as I walked. I could smell the engine of the car and the man driving it. I could taste the cigarettes on his lips. I could feel everything. The dream didn't end in the usual manner of us getting away with murder and robbery and having sex on the hood of the car. This time, there was a crash after a shoot out. I pulled myself out of the wreckage, and I pulled him out, he said something, smiled, and then died. I cried as I tried to stand up. I was bleeding from my torso. I walked away from the crash and heading into the desert, but I didn't get far before a black shiny car pulled up. I was gagged, and bound, and thrown in the trunk. I couldn't be saved. I was as good as dead.
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